Rebirth

/Epilepsy Episode 1

I catch glimpses of them,

vibrant colors,

moving patterns,

that want to invite me to their little dance.

Seducing me with their innocent rhythm.

A milky transparent stain in my vision,

a color undefinable.

I hear their blurry voices vibrating

Ghosts of my mind,

my own creations

Unleashed and in control reaching my hand

First gentle,

Hearts beating and thousand ants wander through my veins.

Then they brutally separate me from reality, take over my body and pull me into darkness.

My body shakes.

My soul disappears.

My mind is all I am.

No name, no light.

Darkness.

When waking up,

I wander through fog,

gasping for air.

Mouths form sounds

I look, but don’t see,

Like a baby coming out of mother’s womb.

Learning to breathe, to live, to cry.

Pattern slowly become objects,

the unknown becomes known.

The smell, the light, their faces, their names, their touch…

oh...how much I´ve missed you.

I have been here before, not sure how long ago, but all I know is that I grew and came out on the other side. Stronger.

A rebirth…

…again and again and again and again…

2022

Jana Siân Blume